Mariah's
"I Stay In Love"
Oh baby
Baby, I stay in love with you
Dying inside 'cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby
I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive
If you don't know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It's a mistake if we just erase it
From our hearts and minds and I know
[Chorus:]
We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
'cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now
No matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Baby, I stay in love with you
It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gonna act
Like what we had
Ain't nothin' at all now
Hey, what I wanna do is
Ride shotgun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SUV
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone
Now go I know
[Chorus x2]
I stay in love
Love
Oh, I stay in love.
---
I hate it that I can relate to this song. I don't want to relate to songs like this.
It is sad and pathetic.
Maybe I am sad.
Maybe I am pathetic.
The song just says it all. All.
Over.
We broke last July 7, 2009. To be specific, you broke up with me in an offline message. Cool. I am really sad right now and very confused. I did not really understand what your reason was. I read the message three times and thought twice if it was a break up message. Then, I saw your status in friendster and you are now listed as single. Then, I am pretty sure that was a break up message right there.
How could it be so easy for you?
Why did you do it in an offline message?
Why?
Those are just the things I want to ask.
But I don't really want to get the answers right now. Maybe I am afraid of the answers.
I'll get my answers later, maybe.
But for now, I will let you be.
It was 1999
Category: Music
Genre: Pop
Artist: Verve Pipe
***This song makes me weep inside. I don't know why. It brings me to an untouched territory, that corner of me. ----- FreshmenWhen I was young and knew everythingAnd she a punk who rarely ever took adviceNow Im guilt stricken,Sobbing with my head on the floorStop a babys breath and a shoe full of riceI cant be held responsibleCause she was touching her faceI wont be held responsibleShe fell in love in the first placeFor the life of me I cannot rememberWhat made us think that we were wise andWed never comprimiseFor the life of me I cannot believeWed ever die for these sinsWe were merely freshmanMy best friend took a weeksVacation to forget herHis girl took a weeks worth ofValium and sleptNow hes guilt stricken sobbing with hisHead on the floorThinks about her now and how he never reallyWept he saysWeve tried to wash our hands of all of thisWe never talk of our lacking relationshipsAnd how were guilt stricken sobbing with ourHeads on the floorWe fell through the ice when we tried not toSlip, wed say
Boredom.
I woke up at around 5:00 am. Tried to go back to sleep but can't. I turned to the book I started reading yesterday. It's Dean Koontz' Dragon Tears. Read, read, read. Then I decided to go down and smoke.
You kno how it is when you feel restless, like you want to do something but don't kno what you want to do. It is just frustrating. I decided to go here at work even if it is my day off. And I decided to write, eventhough I don't kno what to write about.
Sigh.
I'll try to think about something and I'll write some more.
Mal is Back.
Can you believe it? The last time I wrote here was January 2007? Dayum. So it has been that long, huh. Where have I been? Lost, I think. I was lost and now I'm found.
A lotta things happen the past year. I was caught up with all those important and non-improtant things that I was not able to write anymore. Shame.
But I plan to write more now.
Zzzzz
this blog has been sleeping for such a long time already.
time to wake up.
i think.
Sick..NOT (no more)
I was down with fever fa three days, sore throat, and aches here and there. It was hellish. It started in the middle of my shift at work. I had slight fever then, but decided to get on with the shift, hoping to get better after taking paracetamol. But ye, the fever stuck. When I get to my place, I was so feverish, I cried. I was crying, wishing I was home. Realized it's hard to get sick when you're far from home, far from mami, sniffs. I cried myself to sleep. You know how it is when your sick , you feel helpless and you think you're so 'kawawa'. *sigh*
But I'm better now. Not sick no more of that tonsilopharyngitis thingie and.... that thing.
Bummer.
Isn't it frustrating that when you finally decided to give someone that chance to penetrate your life, he's not in for the grabs? Just when you finally believed in the possibilities of having magical experiences with this someone, he's gone uninterested.
Fate playing tricks again, just plain bad luck, or being stupid again, it doesn't matter.
The fantasy was not real.
Period.
So Sick.
I feel like shit today.
Head achin like fuck.
Colds.
Cough.
Puffy eyes.
Slight chills.
:(
I needa curl up in bed today.
I wanna go home to Batangas.
I will feel much better there.
I feel safer there, safe from everything, from anything lethal.
COLDs.
*the bodily disorder
*the temperature
and
*that thing you turned into when you lose the fire.
Got all of it.
*shivers*
:D
---
When we took this pic, we didn't talk about doin the funnii face. It was realli random. Haha.
The Tummi Butterflies.
Them butterflies flyin' the minute before I log on the phones.
Fly~
Fly~
Fly~
The butterfly~
Flyin inside my tum tum~
Im back....
I was away for so long from work that I nearli jumped off of my reckliner when I got my first call. Well, I'm jumpi ye, but the drumbeat while I was taking the calls, dammmmmmn. My heart's drumbeat, babiii, o yeee. Haha. You remember in high school, whenever you see your crush, there's that drumbeat that onli you can hear, and you realize it wus just your heart thumping? Haha. That same frigiin beat man. But I miss it, as much as I miss having the real drumbeat when I see someone.
Maleen is back to her magicless existence.
The Trip.
We planned the trip for almost a month. And ye, it's done now. But I can still feel the fun at the tip of my toenails. The Baguio climate was perfect. Lotsa cute guys. Purrrfect. We left Manila 3pm,October 14th. We didn't waste anytime, right after we unpack, we set foot to finding a place to parti. We went to this bar called Albertos. It wus jampacked wit people. And it wus hella hot inside. We danced and drank. Twus fun. Not bad fa the first night.
Next day (Sunday, October 15), we go shop fa things, taking pictures on the side. Then we went to the mall to have coffee (at koffia) and took pictures (again). The sunset at the balconi of the mall where we are having coffee was breathtaking. It got darker and the view took my breath so far away, it took all of me, and for a split second, I understood once again to be in love. That night we didn't go out. We decided to drink at that place where we be staying. We had tequilas. Yuuuummm. The plan was, shot or dare. If you don't wanna take the shot, then it's a dare fa you. But ye ye, we were all hardii and everyone took all of em shots. But the winner that night was Virgii. Haha. She was sooo dead drunk, she was talkin in her sleep. Then I went and ask her questions and she didn't disappoint us, she was answering. Haha. We got that recorded in my phone. Yey. I'll transcribe everything, Virgii. Haha. We laughed and I cried and I got spooked and I got mad wit Red. Sounds fun. I mean, From F to the U to the friggin N.
Next day (Monday, October 16th), the three other people who were with us left that day. Anne, Virgii and Ace. But Red's partner, Rim arrived earli that day. So, all four of us were left. Of course, we shop again, then we had coffee at koffia. Kyla's uncle was with us. That night, we had some sorta miscommunication. Haha. But we were able to patch things and we went out. That night turned out so well. We got back to the hotel realli realli realli drunk, except for Kyla. That mean concoction that we had wassss pretti hard. Haha. The bar calls it lethal injection. And man, it was the shit. That shit got me high. Man, twus one helluva night. But definiteli grrrrrreat.
Next day (Tuesday, October 17th), we just had rest the whole day. Then we got the news that Red will be off to China on the 28th. Sad. So, Rim and him didn't join us that night. They wanted some time alone, for them to talk. So we left them. So, it wus just us, gurls who went out. Kyla and I was realli wishing to meet friends when we went to that bar we had been the other night, the lethal injection bar. Haha. So, ye. We ordered margaritas. Not too many people though, cuz it wus a tuesday night. So, ye. Then one of the djs approached us and talked to kyla. Then this other dj who was also serving tables gave us tequilas. This guy from the other table ordered it for us in exchange for my number. Haha. Funny. Of course I don't wanna give out my number without even knowing the person, ya? So, Kyla was still talkin to this DJ. Name is Jovic. And I was just sitting there sippin my margarita, and puffing and having fun. Hehe. The guy who gave us margaritas wouldn't wanna go to our table and talk to us. So, ya. Haha. And damn, I wus like, how can I even drink this free margarita when I don't even know who bought it. I felt like we (me and kyla) were two fishes in an aquarium. Haha. Felt like someone is staring and waiting for us to do something stupid. Hehe. Then the people from the table where the free margarita came from left, so we were able to drink the margarita. Haha. Our mission that night was accomplished. We met this realli realli cool guys. The DJ's in this bar (DJ Jovic, Jun, JP, Pots). They finna invited us to join the "after party" at this JP's place. We went to the after party, and man they were nice and and it was all clean. Then they finna invited us to their cook out later that day.
Wednesday (October 18), we're suppose to go home after lunch. But of course, the new found friends invited us to the cook out. So, we checked outta the hotel at 1pm, then Jovic picked us up and went to JP's place. Then ye. We drank and eat. And eat lots. Cupcake Jun's sinigang was the best. The tahong was delicious. And the sashimi was nice. We played video games, drank, eat more and drank more. It wus great to be wit fun people. Red and Rim was there too cuz they agreed to leave later. Everything went ok. First plan was to leave 12 midnight but of course what happened was, Kyla and I left the next day at 8am. But it was all fun. I can't stress more how fun it all wus. But all I can say is, we're definiteli goin back. Yey.
Oh Baguio, Baguio. I'll go back there and experience the magic once more.
G4H here anyone interested?????
This gurl from work use that line often on chats. I don't know her personalli, but I saw her logs in the common PC at the pantry. She locked this chat client with her password. She forgot to turn off the logs though. So, ye. I opened one of her chat convos. Bad mal. Her story was, she left her house because of constant fights with her father. Touché. OK. She was pretti consistent. Everytime she's asked why she resorted to that 'job' fa money, that's always her answer. The deal is, P1,500 fa 3 hours, the guy pays the motel's rent, no anal and no swallow, but she can try, fa extra bucks. Good deal? Hmmm. Me and my friend went over the other chat convos and we found a URL of her pic and a friendster address. Of course, we saw her pic. It turned out to be someone we both don't know. But get this, I might paste the link here (or NOT?). Well, I usualli use the common pc in the pantry before my shift. There were just 2 desktops there. There's a possibiliti that I've waited in line with her for those two PC's alreadi.
Haven't gone through all the convos yet. But there's more to it. Soon. I'll tell ya.
Supergurl will kick your butt Green Lantern. Ha!
Your results:
You are Supergirl| Supergirl |
| 95% |
| Wonder Woman |
| 90% |
| Robin |
| 75% |
| Superman |
| 75% |
| Green Lantern |
| 75% |
| Spider-Man |
| 60% |
| The Flash |
| 60% |
| Hulk |
| 50% |
| Iron Man |
| 45% |
| Batman |
| 40% |
| Catwoman |
| 10% |
|
Lean, muscular and feminine.
Honest and a defender of the innocent.
 |
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...
From a friend who will finna invent something for MAC and will give me that gorgeous set of MAC I want. :)
"Someone may have stolen your dream when it was young and fresh and you were innocent. Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible. "
Let's get rich.
I am currentli readin this book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad. This talks about how you can handle your money and how money can work for you. I haven't read the half of it, but it looks like it's gonna be useful in getting all the money I want. Yey. Money may not buy happiness, but it can sure buy things that can make one happy. Lolz. Materialistic bitch. Haha. Don't be a hypocrite now and tell me money isn't important. But it is.
I qoute: Money is not the root of all evil, but the lack of it is. Agree or agree? Admit it, it's true. And I know you want to get rich too. So, ye. I definiteli recommend this book to y'all. This book will tell you how your secured high-paying job is not the answer to your equalli high debts. Get a second job or a third job? Won't resolve your money problems too. Ima find out what will and Ima get back to you. Winks.
The stoop is back, son!
I feel stoops alreadi not bein able to write fa godame long. Hmmz. Ok, ok. A lotta things happened alreadi: the storm, my dad's bday, my discovery, the thingie here in the office, etc. It's just that one thing happens thenI'll figure it's too lame to write bout it, then another is I was too caught up with all the excitement that I forget to write about it, then the feeling goes away and poof! nothin to write about again. And there were times, that it was just too painful an event that I don't want anibody to read about it, so I bury it inside.
Now, it had been sooooo long that I forgot how to keep my fingers makin love with the keyboard. But ye. Ima write again and will find myself back to indulging the keyboard wit some good lovin.
Life is AMPEYR.
My friend has a partner and side dishes on the side.
I am single and no one else on the side, back, and wherever else.
Himp.
It is just nooooooooo frick FAIR.
But ye. It wus ma choice anyways.
Fuck safe choices.
Hmf.
No sleep again.
I was tryiiiiiiiiin.
You kno i did.
Hmf.
Gunna try once more.
my trip
Sail Dates (6/6, 6/27, 7/18, 8/8) View Rates for this Cruise
Depart from Barcelona- Day at Sea
- Palermo, Sicily
- Naples
- Olbia, Sardinia
- Civitavecchia, Rome
- La Spezia, Florence/Pisa
- Marseilles, France
- Villefranche, France
- Day at Sea
- Barcelona
ANYONE WANNA CUM?LET'S GO SLEEP AND PLAY.
*SIKE*
This is frustrating.
No YM and IRC.
Hmf.
The two things that make me sorta feel like I am still connected to a life form and the onli venues where I socialize: YM and IRC.
And them not working.
Hmf.
Haha.
I am pathetic.
Hahaha.
Next time I try to get a social life, remind me please that my socials shouldn't be boxed out into those two. Haha.
Well, I never realli tried. Seriousli.
How bout remindin me to try?
Right.
POOP.
Pooey.
You are missed, ass.
Hmf.
Tutti Fruiti
Call me weird, but ye, i am soooooo friggin kilig with the song going crazii. And it IS crazii, ye. To think that there is no one i sing this song to. *sighs*
I feel dumb to be like this - going gaga over a song. Hahaha. Damn. I feel like I am possessed or something.This song makes me want to be involved with someone again, get hooked with that love-drunk thing once more. Poop.
Ye.
This is stupid.
Haha.
And I am too, long time ago.
[none]
Maleen's everyday life: EMPTY
EMPTY means
nothing fun happening.
doing the usual.
time passing by unnoticed.
excitement on the lowest possible level.
no flirt trips.
no bitch trips.
or simply, no trips.
no nothing.
looking forward to n-o-t-h-i-n-g, AT ALL.
no highlights.
no climax.
no conflict.
tacki storii.
tasteless.
ending the day wit a nonexistent note.
but yes, i do exagerrate sometimes.
and you shouldn't be asking why i do.
*shrugs*
my new
ADDICTIONand believe me, addiction, means addiction fa real. haha.
but i can get over addiction in no time.
hmmm.
don't wish you be my addiction. believe me, you won't like it.
It is NO FAIR fa real. Tss tss.
If you dress sexy, he says you're a slut.
If you don't dress nice, he says you're ugly.
If you argue with him, he says you're stubborn.
If you're quiet, he says you're stupid.
If you call him, he says you're needy and clingy.
If he calls you, he says you should be grateful .
If you lecture him, he'll say you're bitchy.
If he lectures you, it's because (he's CYKOE!.)
If you don't fuck him, he'll say you don't love him.
If you do, he'll say you're easy.
If you tell him your problems, he'll say you're irritating.
If you don't, he'll say you don't trust him.
If you don't love him, he'll try to win you.
If you love him, he'll leave you.
If you break a promise, you can't be trusted.
If he breaks it, he had to.
If you cheat... you expect it to be over.
If he cheats... he expects to be given another chance.
long forgotten.
THE OLD BLOG
Hmmm.
Say a homeless, beggar tells you that you were about to die in a week. Sounds familiar. Yes. It should be. I watched that Jolie's film 'Life or Something Like It' (again) last Saturdai. Course, I cried once more.
I don't know what I'm gunna do if I was Angelina there in that movie.
How bout you, what would you do?
Must be nice if you will know exactli when you're gunna die.
Must be nice, cause for sure you will do all the things that you won't do if you know you're not going home yet.
Just like what Jolie said in the movie:
Live life like it is your last......... cause one day it will be.Thas for sure, honeii.
CLICKitey click click.
Will you still love me in the morning?Forever and ever babe.
Forever and ever.
Forever.
Profound love: nowhere to be found; extinct
Bridges of Madison County was the latest book I started on and was able to finish. (clap, clap, clap. haha.) It was the true life story of two people hooked and drawn to that kind of love which is so profound, something that is nonexistent nowadays (at least for me, you can quote me on that) The love they had was not that of the selfish love most people share.
At a time like ours, we won't find anything like that.
I see people fall in love so fast and fall out of it so much faster.
I see couple drifting apart.
I sense hearts breaking all the time.
Every minute, a new relationship is born.
But for every second, 5 or more relationships die.
Relationships break easily.
This is true and real.
I can feel it every waking moment.
And sips right through me everytime I try to sleep.
But I don't ask why.
I take it as it is.
I don't want to question the inevitable loss, the existence of nothing, and the barely-there thing left.
The answers might just confuse me all the more. Or I might find out that there were no answers really.
Robert Kincaid was definitely the last of the cowboys. They are gone now, but it's ok. That's how life rolls. I never get sad no more for the nonexistence of those beautiful things. I would have to live with life's imperfection. Just like Marilyn Monroe said, imperfection is beauty.
This profound love each of us wants may not exist no more, but we can create a love that is entirely our own, maybe far greater than that.
-------------
For all the Robert Kincaids who lived and died, my love goes out to you all.
For all the Francesca Johnsons, we do not have to wait for another Robert Kincaid, let's make a Robert Kincaid out of em bastards. We can do it because we're special like that.
*
would you give up your happiness so that your happiness will finalli find it's happiness even if it means losing your only happiness?
i think i would.
did too.
what is.....
LOVE?
it would take just one click, babii.
cum on.
do it.
I am happy when they are.
Lukie and Jerome.
Sweetos and Athan.
Bhubeng and Mico.
Ate Jaiane and his Babii.
Red and Rim.
Ronnee and Jay.
Peyt and Butt.
*happi sigh*
at least i know love still exists.
that is enough.
hmmmF(uck!)
baket amboring ng buhay ko?
wala man lan bago.
wala.
walaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
same old.
kakainis.
hmf.
RANTS.
what has been goin on
1. nalate na naman ako paglog-in ngayon. sarap kse matulog. haha. minsan na nga lan ako magenjoi matulog di ba. cumon.
2. wala na si pinxiee. haaaaay. kakalungkot. namimiss ko sya. sobra.
3. napapayosi lit ako. tss. lateli.
4. umuwi ako sa min at walang ginawa kundi manood ng tv. well. ganyan talaga kapag sabik sa tv.
5. nabobore ako.
july realli is a rainy month.
here came july.
and ye it has been pretti rainy.
and you kno what they say when it rains.
right.
it pours.
and once again, it did pour.
jinxed for the nth time, i'm used to it now.
but i still get that why-it-has-to happen-to-me feeling.
and what-have-i-done-wrong thought.
*sigh*
i dunno what to feel now.
haha.
holi crap.
i just lost my fon.
havin problems at home.
loosin my drive.
loosin it.
slowli.
funni, aint it?
and it can't get any funnier.
hahaha.
true???
you look into the eyes of the person you love..
and you realize it can be the last time you will see them...
but you still wish for that person to have the best and you actually mean it..
that's love..
yes, i think.
love is the closest thing to magic.
***
the people you need in
your life are the ones who need you in theirs.
MOM
i love you mommy.
please don't be sad now.
you know we''ll be there for you.
i know you're having a tough time right now.
but you know, we're here for you.
i love you mom.
please try to be happy despite all of this and that.
it will pass.
hopefully it will.
with God's help it will.
i know you're trying so hard to be strong for me, kati and kuya.
i am trying to be strong too.
for you.
if at times you feel like you all your strength are sipped up.
you know you can get strength from me.
just hang in there.
i got my hand for you.
and i got your back.
I love you so much.
